To my dearest Princess,
One fine morning (very early morning actually..) in November, 7 years back, the heavens decided to bestow upon me the biggest blessing of my life. To earth you came, all tiny and cute, and my life has never been the same after that. You are growing up fast and before I blink you would be ready to open your wings and fly away to take on the world.My words may not make much sense to you now in your innocent world full of cartoons, story books and coloring books. Maybe 10 years down the line you will understand it better. Nevertheless, I want you to assimilate few principles and thoughts as you grow up.
Be Kind:
It is not what we get from the world that people will remember, it is what we gave it back. Be kind to people. Be kind to the lady in the school bus who helps you board the bus today.Be kind to the janitor whom you may find cleaning the ladies room of your office tomorrow.Be kind and don’t bargain with the street side vendor who stands in the scorching sun to make a living. Help as many people as possible, for you never know when all that goodness will find its way back to you. However, don’t be kind to people expecting something in return. If you are good, only good things will happen to you. You can trust me on that.
Be Brave:
We are living in times where it is imperative for girls to be brave and bold. Whatever be the challenges that life throws at you, be brave and face it. I will always be there to support you, but remember that you must fight your own battles. Don’t let anyone assault you physically or emotionally. It is of prime importance that you learn to defend yourselves physically. Don’t fall for the myth that women are the weaker sex. Learn karate, judo or whatever it takes to fend anyone who would raise an inappropriate finger at you. Be emotionally strong to face disappointments and heartbreaks. Life is not a bed of roses, so you better learn to deal with the thorns too. Never be afraid to stick to your convictions and stand up for what you feel is right.
Be Knowledgeable:
You may wonder now why Amma frets too much over your homework. It is because I understand the value of education. It is not just about getting good marks, but about gaining as much knowledge as you can. Knowledge is wealth. If you have that, everything else will follow. So, focus on gaining knowledge and not just good marks. The grades that you get in schools will clear the way for the next levels of academics, whereas knowledge will open up the world for you.
I sincerely hope that the library will become one of your favorite places, like it used to be mine once. I want you to read and get lost in the world of books. I will buy you as many books I can and will get you as many library memberships as you want. There is nothing more liberating in this world than being best friends with books.
Get a Bestie:
I am sure that you will be having many friends at every stage of your life. We tend to lose touch with them at various points and that is a natural thing to happen.Finally, it will trickle down to one or two people who would be your besties for life. Friends are extended family and can sometimes understand you better than your family. It makes me very happy today when you ask me to keep an extra toast in your tiffin to share with your friend. When you become older, I am sure that you will select your friends wisely because they play an important role in shaping our character. People are known by the company they keep.
Few years down the line, I wish you are also blessed with a friend for life, your own 3 am friend or circle of friends. I have a bestie, and you know how emotionally attached I am to her. It is important to have a friend who will be your emotional anchor and will be with you through thick and thin. I want you to genuinely invest in your friendships.
Be Financially Independent:
I want you to be working woman in future. period. And a successful one on that. If there is one thing that Amma would advise you not to compromise at any cost is your financial independence. Get a job,be an entrepreneur but at the beginning of the month you should be able to pay your own bills. You can choose your profession. I wouldn’t pressurize you to be a Doctor,Engineer, CA or an MBA to keep up my social status.Select a profession that makes you happy, and of course pays you enough to live comfortably.
In the practical world, not everybody is lucky to get a job that they would want to go to every morning . If you ever find yourselves in that situation, I would still want you to take some time out and follow your passions. However, don’t get too bogged down by the pressure of being financially independent. It is okay to be broke at times, because being broke too teaches you a lot of valuable lessons. However, at the end of the day, I want you to pick yourselves up and face the world as an independent woman .
On Marriage:
You can get married at 25,35,45 or whatever age you feel like getting married. If you don’t feel like getting married, I am cool with that too. One thing that I can assure you is, there would be no pressure from me. Marriage is a social institution, and you can choose to follow it if you want. Even If you find a partner whom you are happy with, I don’t want you to jump into any hasty decisions.
Spend time with him and understand if the relationship is worth the time, effort and commitment. There should be love and mutual respect in equal measures. If you find a man who loves you and respect you enough to let you live your dreams, do get married. Don’t get married though because you must confirm to societal norms. Travelling the world is a good alternative if you ask me .And if I am around and healthy, I would love to join you too 🙂
Amma is sure that you will grow up to be a beautiful human being and make me proud . Take flight my child and win the world.. Love you to moon and back..
With loads of love,
Your Amma
Happy Parenting with BuddingStar
- What I learned From My Father - June 18, 2017
- An Open Letter To My Daughter - May 30, 2017
