Disclaimer: The topic says ‘fight your self back’ and not your ‘position at workplace’. If it’s the later you are looking for, may be this post won’t help you.
Leaves are often considered as a taboo with working women and if it’s a long maternity leave, well.. you can just imagine.
Even during the time she is waiting for those beautiful moments of her life and still carrying all other responsibilities of her household, including office, the perception about her changes in her workplace. This change may be subtle if your are a ‘star performer’ of your office and if you are just an ‘average worker’, this change would be bold and clear without any sugar coatings.
Let me mention here that I have no intention of judging your performance at workplace. Being a ‘star performer’ is just a badge and not always directly related to your performance and dedication. I am simply referring to how your managers and authorities perceive you. Nothing more than that!
It’s not that this ‘mother to be’ colleague of yours does not understand all this but during that phase of her life, she is too engulfed with so many changes in her.. mentally, emotionally and physically that she chooses to ignore.
But this does not just end after she joins back, in fact it’s all together a different battle now.
A mother joining office after a maternity leave and juggling between kids and office is soon labelled/ treated as an under- performer in her office.
Now, what can you do ?
If you are one among them, few handy tips for you.
1. Accept the fact!
Unlike woman, man’s brain is not accustomed to multitask. While a woman can manage home, office, kids, maids… it’s not that easy for a man to co relate this multifaceted challenges these working mothers face in their day to day routine, especially if he himself has not witnessed this at home, with awareness.
I am not underplaying the role of a father here, who in most cases the major bread earner of the family and without his support a mother won’t be able to perform her role effectively. Rather I am of the opinion that mother and father are roles that both the parent often interchange.
However when it comes to our colleagues, things become different. So rather than wondering how to prove yourself back, to wonder how to earn your position back, just go easy with yourself and let your colleagues learn at their own pace.
When I was going this phase of exertion, helplessness and guilt. My manager gave me very wise and apt words that I still quote to new moms.
The role that your are playing in Office can be replaced by another staff but the one you are playing at home has no replacement.
There can be no bigger role and responsibility than nurturing a young soul and you cannot pour from a empty cup. In order to give love and care to your kid, make sure you do so to yourself too. You are doing a great job and assure yourself of this fact.
Perform your your job in the office diligently and efficienctly and leave the ‘cribbing’ and ‘judgement passing’ job with the other members of the office.
3. Don’t hesitate to seek help.
This term ‘superwoman’ is a myth. Never aim to be one . You being a human, would need help. Don’t hesitate to take help from wherever / whatever you can get. It’s completely natural, trust me.
4. This too shall pass.
This attitude of society around you is just a temporary phase and part of working woman’s life and like all other things, this too shall pass. So chill and relax !! Motherhood is the best phase of a woman. Being a Mother does not only (and always) include just delivering a child. It’s a life long self less commitment of love, care and nurture.
Enjoy this beautiful journey with your partner and as a parent aim at providing the best growing environment to your kid. Rest anything does not matter.
What do you think ? Please share your views.