Childbirth!!!! When is the correct time to take that step….if at all??? PREGNANCY…. IF, WHEN AND WHY!!!  I chose to write about this, as I found it very prevalent in society today, anywhere in the world….one of those unspoken issues, where everyone does it…sometimes for the right reasons and sometimes wrong.

Let’s start at the very beginning… a couple get married and settle into their daily life with gusto, discipline and excitement, eagerly anticipating what all life will throw their way and how they would cope….the two of them together against the world. Sooner or later, stage two makes an appearance and they start discussing the age old question……” should we start considering having a baby??”

That is what my blog for today is all about….

What are the various reasons a couple decides to have a baby!

The first and most common of all, is of course two people wanting to become parents. They want to create a child born of their love, whom they can cherish and nurture for the rest of their lives. They feel confident about their position in life and maturity levels in handling the responsibility of parenthood. Well, nothing wrong with that….it sounds absolutely wonderful and idyllic!!

But what happens when women decide to get pregnant and end up bringing a child into the world for reasons other than the above?

Let’s delve on some of those….

“Really!! Trust me!!! An only child is a lonely child!! You must have another child so that your first doesn’t grow up to be selfish and lonely. Tomorrow when you and your husband aren’t there, who will the child have? This way, he/she will have a sibling to stand by his/her side always…through thick and thin…”

Facing problems in your marriage??? Always listen to the advice handed down from your elders…”Have a baby!! All your problems will be solved and before you realize it, once you have that beautiful baby in your arms, you’ll won’t even remember what you’ll were fighting about. You’ll will be so blissfully happy and be a complete family.”

An Oldie, yet a Goldie….. The generations old ‘Biological clock’!! “Oh my god, you’re Thirty Five years old and still no baby??? What are you waiting for??? Have a baby fast, otherwise you will be so old, you won’t be able to conceive and will be too old to even care for the baby. You must have children when you are still young and can run around behind them.” “Is there any problem, medically?”

And of course, one can’t ever forget that wonderful society we all live in and the pressures it puts on all young couples wanting to live life on their own terms….”what is the problem, Mrs. Xyz…. Your son has been married for so many years now. Why haven’t they had any children yet?? What is all this working and career nonsense? Is it more important than creating a life?” “All my friends have become grandparents and they keep looking at me in puzzlement and whispering behind my back, wondering when I will give them good news. You’ll don’t even consider my feelings or embarrassment. I don’t know anything or care how you’ll feel…just make me a grandmother soon…”

When I scroll upwards and read these various listed reasons, I find myself amazed and so disappointed. Are these actually valid reasons to bring a child into the world?? To keep society quiet, companionship for a single child, to appease impatient grandparents or to save a marriage in trouble???

Shouldn’t a major decision like pregnancy and childbirth be made on pure and simple feelings of love and not forced logic and imposed rationale?? This is such an important, life changing decision…once you become a parent, nothing is ever the same …your responsibilities, your freedom, your attitude, your lifestyle….everything changes!! So would it be correct to enter into such a life altering and momentous decision for the wrong reasons?? I think not!!! Childbirth is a miracle and looking after that miracle, a life long, arduous (though exhilarating) process. No days off, no breaks….it is a lifelong commitment, which once made cannot be undone.

So think wisely, ladies. Don’t enter into something so huge unless you are utterly and totally ready. Don’t give in to outside pressures. Always listen to your heart and do what feels right to you. It is your life, your decision… not the worlds. Make it count!!!!

Happy Parenting with Budding Star

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About Shelley Subawalla

A mother of two, a seventeen and a nine year old, I would love to use this opportunity and platform to try and pen down my take, my experiences (peeves and pleasures) and the changes being a mother brought into my life. A simple effort to try and give an insight into the journey (faced by most women), simply known as MOTHERHOOD!

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