What do you do or how do you feel exactly when your child acts out in public? My daughter seems to act up more if I am around other people or certain times in public. I just had an incident on the bus where she was refusing to stay in her seat and then started screaming when I stopped her. She kept yelling because she wanted to sit with someone else but it wasn’t even possible to accommodate due to the way the seats were.
I tried to tell her that we’ll sit behind the person and she started yelling that she didn’t want to sit behind her she wanted to sit with her! Then she started flailing around and screaming. I tried to let her sit in one spot but she started rolling around on the ground. I got a variety of responses and I was interpreting everybody’s faces as judgement because I was not feeling good about the situation.
Then I decided to do my best to tune out other people’s expressions and started thinking that people around me probably understand more than I think. And if they don’t, then they must not have kids. And what does it matter what anyone else thinks anyway, right? I am the mom, and I have the charge over this little person who needs me to step up to the plate. So I ignored everybody around and stepped out of the bus.
The most difficult part of the parenting job is to cope with angry and stubborn children. Disciplining your kids in public especially when it seems all eyes and ears are on you is very embarrassing. People start judging you by few minutes of observation. But you have to deal with it in a positive manner and control your child. Children respond to their feelings by acting out in public because they understand the fact that you won’t like to feel embarrassed in front of the public and will address to their desire very easily.
How to deal when your child acts out in public:
- Dealing with a child’s behavior requires first finding out what they feel for they may need your help to label their feelings. Sometimes they might be feeling a little anxious, bored, insecure, hungry, tired or uncomfortable because their needs might not be getting met.
- Don’t just tell your child what not to do; tell them what they should do too.
- I believe children need a balance of discipline and love. Try to calm your child hold him/her in your arms. Let your child know you’re on his side, and that you understand his feelings are real. Hug, pat his back or kiss him on the head.
- Let him know through body language that it’s okay to feel the way he does and that the bad feelings will go away soon. Explain the situation only when your child has calmed down. Acknowledge emotions and then, correct your child’s behavior.
- Punishment is not the most effective way to communicate to children what we expect of them. Explaining, modeling, and setting rules are far more effective.
- Parents have to do as much as they can to encourage children and to boost their self-esteem. Children need praise and encouragement. And we as parents need to give them compliments for their achievements and positive behaviors.
So, next time when your child acts out in public just tell yourself that “Life comes with the gig of parenting a child, and it’s nothing to feel guilty about”. So, these are the tricks to deal when your child acts out in public.
Remember the proverb – A harsh word stirs up anger, but a gentle answer turns away wrath.
Happy Parenting with Budding Star
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