We see a lot of jokes in social media about life before and after marriage and also about life after kids. What is the big deal? Does Life of a couple after kids really changes? Only a parent would know the answer.
As a mom of 2 kids, I found that our married life changed to a great extent after kids. Not all is good and rosy. There are some discomforts, adjustments and most of all, a lot of lessons learned. These changes made us a matured couple. So, let me share some changes that I observed:
It was so casual for myself and my spouse to stay late in the night and wake up whenever we want on weekends. Alas, Everything changed now. It’s for our good anyway. Whatever we do, we set an example to our kids. Going to bed early and rising early is one of the good habits we incorporated after kids. It’s of course, good for family’s well being.
We were never serious about the food we took until we have kids. Since we both used to work, eating outside was a norm and there were always unplanned restaurant visits and parties to attend to. Until kids get some immunity, it is difficult for them to eat outside. Moreover, the toddlers create a lot of fuss in restaurants which is disturbing for other customers. It is also important that we eat healthy food so that kids can see and follow us. We reduced restaurant visits and got used to the healthy diet.
The perspective of entertainment changes too. Our family entertainment includes going to parks, going for walks with kids, taking them to swimming, cycling with them, playing games with them, preparing crafts with them, preparing tasty dishes together, watching animation movies etc., You get the point right? Couple time changed to family time.
So, these changes are fine, but how do we ensure we spend enough ‘couple time’?
Here is what we do.
Traveling together helps in bonding. We plan hiking, nature walks, long drives and camping. Even though we travel with kids, long drives help us to discuss our problems, future plans and share our feelings. At least once a year or two, we take help of our parents and in-laws and plan a trip together leaving the kids at grand parents place.
Choose ‘couple time’:
A morning coffee with my spouse daily (before kids wake up) is precious to me. Exercising together, sharing household responsibilities, gardening, watching a sport or a movie together after kids sleep etc. are small gestures which will help in bonding.
Celebrations and Surprises:
A few will ignore birthday celebrations and anniversaries after having kids. But these occasions are very important. Surprise gifts, candle light dinners, and celebrations should continue.
Whatever may be the way you choose for couple time, communication is important for any relationship. After becoming parents, we shouldn’t be too busy with our commitments to share our feelings with each other. If the communication is good, the relationship becomes stronger day by day.
Well, What do you say?
Share your views!
Happy Parenting with Budding Star