If your child has poor self-esteem, it is because you advise them more than you encourage them || Budding Star

If your child has poor self-esteem, it is because you advise them more than you encourage them

avoid trying new things
feel unloved and unwanted
blame others for his own shortcomings
feel, or pretend to feel, emotionally indifferent
be unable to tolerate a normal level of frustration
put down his own talents and abilities
be easily influenced

Is your child struggling from any of these above mentioned problems?

If yes, it’s probably because you start giving them lengthy lectures, you start judging them if they ask you anything rather than encouraging them. You are actually giving them a life devoid of self esteem. Parents should recognize the individuality of the child and do all possible to perpetuate and promote his/her overall growth-physical mental and spiritual. They should be a friend and guide to their child instead of being suppressive personalities!

What can we as parents, teachers and guides do to help our children have a high self esteem:-

Love is the biggest thing to shower on kids. Show them you are happy and proud of them for all they do – even if they are not the best. – We should not assume they know that we love them. We should show our love every day, hug them make them feel accepted and secure, come what may.
We should praise and encourage them. Give them small compliments and show appreciation sincerely. But are you a constant praiser of your child? Stop doing that right away
No, I have not gone nuts. But it is true, constant praise such as, OMG you are the best, you right so beautifully, you draw just perfect, you are a future Sachin Tendulkar and so on, doesn’t enhance a child’s self esteem but fills him with a false pride which of course backfires years later when he/she hits the reality of the super competitive world. Rather than you can praise them for the effort they put in, in doing something, you drew this all by yourself? You practiced so much to get selected in the team? Are you getting the point? This is what makes the difference. They will learn to work hard to achieve something and realize that they are not super on their own but it’s their efforts that make them what they are. So it is a message that they get very loud and clear that hard work will get them all the laurels they need.
As the child grows up, start assigning tasks to him or her and don’t watch their back for everything. They would be able to form opinions as to why they like something or dislike n respect their taste n them as an individual. Let them be independent slowly and steadily and encourage them to clean up, to maintain their school bags and Tiffin, polishing the shoes and little teeny tiny stuff they can do for this would not only make them independent and efficient but also increase their self esteem in the long run. Plus, you would be raising a child who doesn’t not throb on spoon feeding for A-Z things, but a child who can and does stuff as per his ability and soon you would hear, mamma, let me help you with more of the chores.
Respect your child. Listen and communicate with them showing keen interest, sometimes spending time with them alone. Respect their point of view and don’t be too judgmental.
Teach them sound values of honesty, hard work, caring, respecting and most of all to be grateful for all they have. This will make them happy and satisfied.

Kids need our love, support and of course our time. So parents spend as much time as you can. Give them encouragement which they deserve so that everyday your little munchkin walks with pride, feel comfortable in his skin and sleep at night with a clear conscience.

Peace Out…!!!

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If your child has poor self-esteem, it is because you advise them more than you encourage them

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About Akansha Bansal

Post graduate in Masters of Business Administration from Panjab University, Chandigarh. She live with a notion “SIMPLE LIVING, HIGH THINKING” and have an optimistic approach towards life. Always eager to learn new things... She loves to write blogs on parenting. She is the Co-founder of "Budding Star".

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