I often heard you say, “You can understand the pain of a mother when you will become a mother yourself.” But I failed to understand why you never felt the pain of being a daughter though you already were the same once. I was always forewarned about the future but why mum you seemed to have forgotten the past. Did you ever think of me as a girl when you tried to indicate your agony as a mother? I always wondered what pain did I give you to be formally told to be thinking about my future. In this article I will be quoting Mother-daughter cycle.
Indeed every girl is destined to be married one day and give birth to a child.
And, undoubtedly the process of bearing a child is not an easy task is what I have now got to learn but being a daughter should not really be a curse. I remember you took pain in rearing me, you were troubled when I fell sick and you often must have cried finding me hurt. But does all that mean you keep warning me of the days to come?
Isn’t it in a way creating a whole lot of negative aura around?
There were times when you invited guests home when I desperately needed you by my side. You never asked me my wishes as a daughter, can you tell me why didn’t you think of yourself as a daughter then? There were things I hated the most but you cooked. In a rage, I refused to eat and you left me to starve. Why did you not think of me that moment?
I grew up with tremendous rage and though I could never hate anyone but never could love you either. I always tried to analyze my acts, my wrongs or my rights. Unfortunately, I was too young to learn anything and could not even seek help from you since you were busy being just a mother.
The misery of being a daughter was too painful for me at times so the most important lesson that I learnt in my life was to be different from mother when I grow up. As long as I was just a daughter, I kept thinking about motherhood only because I was told to. But one thing I did decide right then and that was to allow my child to be a just a child. I told myself that I would never tell my daughter to pre-assume the pain of a mother since childhood and motherhood were two different phases of life which one must enjoy according to the age.
As per time, I, the daughter, turned into a mother and felt extremely happy to be a mother to a daughter. The life had taken a full circle and it was my turn to behave like a mother. But the lessons of my life hadn’t just been a forgotten past. I always remembered my learnings and tried not to spoil my daughter’s childhood. Instead at times I loved to relive my own childhood in hers however I do come to realize that I also behave like a mother when I tell my daughter that she can only understand the agony of a mother when she would step into my shoes. Certainly I don’t expect her to start feeling motherhood right now but somewhere down the line I do want someone to understand me, the mother.
Happy Parenting with Budding Star
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