It was lovely evening and I was sipping my cup of coffee and was checking the search history of my tablet. Half an hour ago this tab was with my son, a ten year old kid”tween”. While he was with the tab and “me” was preparing a cup of coffee for myself and microwaving some snacks for my son. But all I was doing halfheartedly and my mind was more interested in skulking in his room to check him. Finally I chased my curiosity and asked him sacchariferously to play outside. It was evening time. He put down the tab on the bed grabbed the snack and pecked on my cheeks and went off to play with his friends. Aha finally I got the tab and quickly I checked the history and to my satisfaction it was only car making clips.

So it’s type of Over-Parenting? What is exactly Over-Parenting?

While parenting when and how to draw line so that my son won’t get stifled in his home and feel like caged but still instilled with good human traits effortlessly.

To start with I never praise him for his mediocrity. Like I never say OK let this go, you will do better next time. For me unnecessary praising actually breed poor performances and unhealthy personality traits. Such self esteem coddling will eventually lead to narcissistic behavior in my child. I point out the faults so that he won’t make mistakes next time simultaneously appreciates him if he makes effort.

Over-Parenting comes from sincere desire to give best to the children. But in the process we get indulged in inter parental competitions. Over-Parenting not only confined to PTA meetings. Comparing marks with each and everyone. This is the age of social  media where each and every detail people like to post. Once one of my friend posted a picture of her son along with a medal which he got in Olympiad. Unwillingly though I felt the pinch. I won’t suggest that not to check all these social medias but we should limit our act. Instead of checking we can put our efforts to inculcate good habits in him. Constant checking will effect us too and we indulge in fierce competition with parents and land ourselves in fights or arguments with teacher, coaches, friends. It’s true that parents won’t like their kids disappointed or in disagreement but we have to give them freedom to understand what is good or what is bad without acting like a defense attorney on kid’s behalf.

 I have not over packed my kid’s routine with various classes. Too much making them busy will kill their thinking  power. But in order to introduce with new activities we can enroll one thing at a time rule.

 This is an age where play is a deliberate act of growing up. An age where mouse plays Supreme. Probably Over-Parenting would not have existed if this mobile generation is not there. We can’t curse it like a modern evil. It’s helpful to keep in touch with your kid but at the same time we have to keep watch without being intimidating. Excessive monitoring can make children hostile to their parents. They should feel free enough to discuss their problems by themselves with their parents. If we scold or threat all the time then child will start hiding.
 

Though there is no certain formula for raising a successful kid, well behaved with all good qualities but Over-Parenting is certainly not the one.

 Happy Parenting with Budding Star

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About Shrabani Baksi

I am a home maker but I love teaching and my work involves teaching abacus to kids. And my second love is writing. So that's why I am here!

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