Since the onset of New Year, I am reading articles about making resolutions for the New Year, bucket list, places to visit in 2018 or things to do before turning 30. Before turning 30! Be real, I am already 34 and to be true I have not done even half of those things. All these articles made me evaluate my so called bucket list which keeps on changing every few months or since the time I became a mother. Activities which I wanted to do have been put on hold till my younger one turns 5! Trip to the places I wanted to visit from so long have been postponed because either the weather there is too cold or too hot for the little one. I wondered if this happens only with me or there are others also sailing in my boat.
Now, often we underestimate our mother’s efforts and things that she does for our well being. In doing so, she does not think about herself, rather focus on fulfilling her child’s wish. But, today, we list down the bucket list; the list that a mother needs to have in her life. It will guide her to live a more happy life while focusing on her child too. First of all, you as a mother should form a list of places that you want to visit and make a plan of visiting those places in the summer or winter vacations of your child. In this manner, your child will also get to visit new places. Further, she should list down her hobbies, what she likes the most and what makes her happy. After doing this, her focus should be to join dance classes, music classes and other such classes so that she gets to learn new things. You can even start your small bakery business or anything that you love to do like parlour, opening a store, opening a food store etc. In this manner, you will not only learn new things but will be able to make your day special too.
Out of curiosity I texted my doubts in my WhatsApp group of school and college friends. More or less, everyone feels same about these bucket lists. Everyone’s bucket is full but no one has time to empty it. Reasons are also almost same. One of them said, “I’ll do it when my kid will be more independent”. Another said, “I can’t even take out 15 minutes for myself and you’re talking about joining a hobby class”?
My case is also not different. I along with my two best friends was planning for an only girl trip from a long time. 3 years to be precise. But we never did it because our kids were small and we as mothers were not courageous enough to leave them in the hands of their father and go for a 3 day trip. One of my friend unexpectedly died a year ago leaving only 2 of us and all our plans in jiffy. Now I wish we would’ve taken that trip. Wishing now doesn’t help because the time has gone. Remaining two of us still plan to go on trip taking along all her memories. That only girl trip is still intact on our bucket list. Do you see the beauty of bucket list? It never gets empty. We only have to find time to do the things which we love.
Travel if you want to. Join a hobby class. All these things are very easy to say and to do till you become a mother. Once you become mother, you don’t just think about yourself. You plan a trip according to your child. A working mother finds it more difficult because she’s already fighting to find a proper work-home balance. Among all this where that treasured bucket list goes, nobody knows. It takes a back seat in your life. Seeing other people’s fun pictures on FB, increases the pressure to enjoy life more. Things were much more simpler 20 years ago when there was no social media. Among that pressure we tend to forget that we already have so much with us which we enjoy daily. Laughter of kids, those tiny little hands and wet kisses they shower on us.
I see my bucket list in one small corner of my heart. There are so many things I’ve already planned for this year like doing a bakery course, doing a road trip with my kids and many more. I am sure I’ll find time for some if not all. Till that time, I’ll just cut off from social media, switch off my phone and count the real blessings God has given me. Cutest children in the world, loving parents, supportive in-laws, caring brother and sister in law, my amazing man in uniform and my wonderful friends who are always there to listen my rant. Life is a blessing, with or without bucket list!
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- Motherhood! It’s Beautiful Yet Scary - May 13, 2017
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