The other day I was in conversation with my husband about my life. Being a mother of 7 months old baby I mostly complained about how I miss my old life. After giving birth to my little one I don’t remember a day I slept for 8 hours straight. I am mostly spotted in a lose fitting maternity nighty and hair so tangled that when I see myself in the mirror I look more like a homeless destitute than mommy. My husband was patiently waiting for my jabber to end. Talking continuously for about fifteen minutes I paused expecting some empathy and holding hands. Then he said, “it’s normal and commonplace.
Every mom goes through this. Don’t worry, things will get better”. He picked up the tablet and went ahead with the daily news and I was left thinking of how my situation can possibly get better until I actively do something about it. After dwelling upon the subject for sometime I decided to speak about it to my family as coherently as possible and ask them to offer help. That was my Plan A. I worked accordingly. I asked my husband to volunteer in little chores. I hired a help too. Life is still far from sorted but today it’s a little bit better than it was yesterday.
So the idea behind this post is to highlight the needs of a mother. These seemingly trivial needs have significant impact on her mental and emotional well-being. And even if we can manage to address a few of these, her life will change for good. So here is my list of little pleasures we miss dearly especially after becoming mommy.
Little things moms miss every day-Weekends
Few years back, weekend was one of the three favorite words of my life, the other two being home and food. I could sleep as much as I like, bing watch sitcoms, meet with friends, go shopping (buying things for myself) etc. I know, being mommy is serious business and you can’t expect to live life exactly the way you used to but still, getting a holiday is it such a distant dream ? And when I say weekend or holiday I mean a day in a week where we have to work a little less, sleep a little more, find an hour or two for ourselves. We miss weekends a lot.
2. Little things moms miss every day-Quite mornings
How I begin my day dictates the rest of it. So I used to get up before everyone else, make myself a strong cup of tea and enjoy the solitude for a few minutes before I start my day. Now my mornings are chaos redefined! I wake up to explosive diapers, impatient maids’ ring the doorbell like this is apocalypse, angry husband because his luxurious sleep is interrupted and a bladder ready to burst.
3. Little things moms miss every day-A relaxed shower
A relaxed shower is luxury for mothers. Even for mothers of somewhat grown up children. There is always something more important to be done than spending time under the faucet. And when there is none, your little fellow decides to entertain you from across the door. Raise your hand if you can relate mommies.
4. Little things moms miss every day-Unhurried meals
We moms do not eat. We gobble. We shove whatever is there on the plate. The mission being emptying the plate before the baby awakes.
Little things moms miss every day-Spending time with husband
I often wonder how men feel about this but spending quality time with husband is something every wife longs for. Yes even after having a baby. Especially after having a baby.
6. Little things moms miss every day-Dressing up for an occasion.
Women love to dress up. Not every single day but every now and then. And please note that we do not dress up to impress others but to feel good about ourselves. But in the initial years of motherhood we moms become so exhausted that we ignore this little ritual. We are often seen in pjs, maternity wears with disheveled hair and under-eye dark circles.
Little things moms miss every day-Smaller waistline.
I have seen Youtube videos of mothers getting back to their pre-pregnancy weight and body within a couple of months post delivery. But how many of us actually get there ? I mean we hardly get to sleep, how can we possibly follow a workout regularly to get back to shape ?
Little things moms miss every day-Watching a full movie without interruption.
I take about a week time to watch a one and half hour movie. And that’s because when ever I try to watch either my baby decides to wake up or I fall asleep. There are a thousand more ways I am interrupted like my baby needing a change of diaper, colicky cry, bored cry, hungry baby.
Little things moms miss every day-Reassurance.
Although mother is the epitome of strength, she from time to time needs words of reassurance. That she is doing a great job, that she may not be perfect but she is trying her best and no matter what her family and friends love her for who she is.
Families usually forget to take care of the one who takes care of them all the time. This is a reminder to the husband, the mother in law, the father in law, the kids, the friendly neighbor and the well-wisher. Taking care does not mean providing food, shelter and clothes. We deserve more. We deserve to be heard. We deserve to be loved, cherished and looked after. Most importantly we deserve to live for our self too.
Happy Parenting with Budding Star
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